Plan B

 Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads in life?

At a place where you are standing looking at two roads...

one road was the life you thought you were going to lead

and the other is the life you have found yourself in?

I am at that place.

We all have a picture of the way we want our life to be

and then we have reality! 

And when those two don't match up we feel tremendous

amounts of pain, guilt, frustration, and even anger.  

We all have dreams that don't come to fruition. 

Some are because of our poor choices, some are because of other's decisions, some are a combination of both of those, and sometimes I think there is absolutely no one to blame,

the only one to blame is God.

And gosh darn it, when you hit those moments doesn't it always seem like everyone else's dream is happening except yours. 

I swear it's like;

Everyone else's cancer is being cured.

Everyone else is able to have a baby of their own.

Everyone else's marriage is happy.

Everyone else is being offered a job.

Everyone else is receiving a clean bill of health.

So what do we do with these shattered dreams...

what do we do with our unmet expectations...

What do I do when I'm standing there staring, as my plan A

becomes a distant shadow on the ground...

Man, I think that is such a tough question.

And let me say that I don't believe there is just one simple Bible verse that gives you the answer.

(Believe me I've looked)

It's taken me a long time.

And it hasn't been easy.

In fact, I don't like it much.

But like I said in a previous post,

I have come to the place where I realize that

I do not control outcomes. 

And when my life seems like it's spinning out of control

it's just a reminder that I'm not in control.

The solution for me personally has been a long, tiresome journey...

Full of tears, heartache, sadness, hurt, disappointment, confusion, frustration and about every other emotion in the book...but all of those thoughts and feelings have landed me in the place where I can finally say,

Lord, this is not my dream. 

This is not the way I'd write the script,

this is not what I expected,

but it's not about me,

it's about you God. 

It really stinks and I don't like it, but I'm gonna trust you, walk through this pain and confusion and process it, deal with it, but

I'm not going to let it control me.

Because if I've learned anything it's that if I wrap my faith around my dreams, then when my dreams shrivel up so will my faith.

So everyday we have a decision:

- to make a choice based on our "interpretation" of our circumstances

-OR-

- to make a choice based on God's promises, that

He is who He says He is

I chose the latter and I can honestly say,

my soul has been more

peaceful and joyful

ever since.

I see God working and moving in my life in new ways.

Yes..I promise to share some of them soon :)

I took the step.

Started down a new path.

A foreign road very unfamiliar to me.

One that I don't have a road map for,

but you know what...

I'm at peace with that

because I trust the Man whose footprints I am following.

This will be my final posting

at this blog site.

As we embark on this plan b,

my wonderfully talented friend Kristi

has custom designed a completely new

blog site for me.

You are welcome to join us on the journey!

Leave a comment or email me for specifics...

Thank you to so, so many for your genuine love, endless support and  continued prayers on our behalf.

My cup runneth over!!!

Signing off for the final time from
Casita de Alaniz.

The poison of SHOULDS

Have you ever thought about how dangerous

thinking and using the word

should

can be?

I found out some information that really

bothered me and that I

did some serious thinking about it.

Over and over I found myself stuck on the word should...

so and so should know better.

so and so shouldn't have said that.

 so and so should say it to my face.

It's something I've struggled with for most of my life I guess. 

People "should" behave this way,
marriages "should" be like this,

friends "should" respond this way,
life "should" look like this...

but guess what...
life doesn't work that way.

The truth is we all have expectations in our lives that affect the way we live, the way we view others,

and the way we respond to life.  

 Want to know what some of mine were?

1.  People should always make good choices

2.  People should tell the truth, always

3.  Moms should make dinner for their families

4.  Husbands should want to come home to their wives

5.  Friends should be honest with you, even when it's tough

6.  I should give 100% to everything I do

7.  I should stay positive, no matter what

You know what? 

These shoulds can ruin lives. 

They can ruin friendships.  They can ruin your self worth.

These shoulds can poison your attitude and bog you down into trying to figure out other people's motives and motivations.

These shoulds can make us expect things that are unrealistic.

And they allow us to be disappointed when things don't turn out the way they

"should." 

They steal our joy.

I really struggled thinking about this.

 

Finally, in the wee hours of the Saturday morning

{think like 2 a.m.}

I finally came to the conclusion that

I have to release the need to determine

how things should be...

:: I release it ::

:: I let it go ::

:: Go ::

:: Fly away ::

:: Get away from me ::

:: Get out of my thoughts ::

:: Stop stealing my joy ::

I think that my expectations were just a form of control,

born of my need to know what the outcomes would be. 

And the more I am able to release that need,

the more I am able to accept life for what it truly is...

a series of ups and downs, triumphs and trials, happy moments 
and heartaches.

I encourage you, think about what your shoulds are. 

Shoulds with yourself.  Shoulds with your friends. 

Shoulds with your kids.  Shoulds in your marriage.

If you want to share some of them please do so, via comments. Who knows, they may be enlightening to someone else. 

Tuesday TRUEism

I find so much comfort in God's promises.

He always keep his word.

{my compass}

Mom,

I have so many things to be thankful for this mother's day,

but the most important one is you.

I thank God each and every day for my blessings

and one of the most important blessings is you, Mom!

You have been a rock, a guide, a compass throughout the years...

always there, always praying, always listening, always encouraging, always loving, always lighting up the path that leads to Christ.

Thank you for each and every act of love you have lived out on my behalf.

Especially for the hours and hours of prayers you have lifted up over the years...

I have felt each and every one.

By your example, you lead me to my greatest possession,

Jesus Christ.

I have seen you serve on countless occasions by cooking food, sending a hand written card, visiting the sick, making phone calls, driving women to doctor appointments, forgiving, and by being inclusive instead of exclusive!

Thank you for being a shining example of what a servant should be.

The hands and feet of Christ.

I pray that I may develop the same priceless qualities that you possess.

That's the one thing about a compass,

no matter what the weather

it always points in the same direction.

My cup runneth over

♥

Becky

“Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who fears the

LORD,

she shall be praised.”
Proverbs 31: 28-30

Lifting the vail

Through the course of this month it's been my goal to read through the book of Proverbs. Mainly because I felt like I needed to be fed spiritually...specifically fed with wisdom. As I read through I highlighted various verses that I felt were especially insightful or just really applicable to me in this season of life.

Needless to say, there were many highlighted, but one stayed on my mind. I have heard this verse since I was a young child, but it struck me differently this time around and left me with a changed perspective...

which is the true reason I am sitting writing down my thoughts this day.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says, "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding

it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled

with rare and beautiful treasures."

Lovely, no? That's kind of the way I've always looked at it...as beautiful words.

Who wouldn't want a house full of beautiful treasures.

And looking around I am surrounded physically by beautiful objects in my home.

However during this reading it pricked my heart in a different way,

a worrisome way.

What do I need to do to have those "rare and beautiful treasures" described by King Solomon? What kind of house am I building on a day to day basis? Where are my walls/boundaries being placed Monday through Saturday and dare I say on Sundays? What kind of knowledge am I filling my rooms with...the rooms of my house and the rooms of my heart.

My heart became heavier when it became clearer to me that maybe we are choosing not to seek out what defines us as Christians, what sets us apart, what can give us assurance of those rare and beautiful treasures, despite our own weaknesses.

Are we seeking the absolute truths of Jesus or a choosing to live in the gray, if you will.

A world where nothing can truly be considered absolutely right or absolutely wrong or good or bad, black or white, truth or untruth but everything is cloaked in a vail of uncertainty.

A hazy gray.

Even now, the majority of the world and sometimes the church would reel at using the symbols of black and white to describe much of anything.

As I think about Cade and Gracyn, I wonder if the road they will walk down

will be darker than mine.

Certainly it will.

Man would have us believe that absolutes in life are growing grayer and grayer as the years move ahead. I believe the world is teaching us and our children that we don't have to choose between God and the world, that we can embrace both.

Most of the world would likely consider this to be progress.

Will it one day be considered progress in the world of religion too?

To accept that holding absolutes is absolutely backward.

To seek to live in the gray so that we don't stand out, we aren't set apart, we can blend right in with the masses and still someone manage to fill our rooms with rare and beautiful treasures on our OWN?

Oh my goodness...what lies Satan is circulating. What a weapon he is wielding against us.

Yearning to draw near to God by seeking a relationship with Jesus Christ is what fundamentally defines us as Christians. Knowledge is nothing more than an accumulation of raw facts, but wisdom is the ability to see those facts as God sees them It is this wisdom, I believe, that teaches us how to not only survive, but thrive in this broken, broken world. God promises us that if we draw near to him, He will draw near to us, if we seek Him; then He will always reveal Himself to us.

He is Truth.

And there is nothing gray about Him.

10 to Kick-Off 2010!!!

10 words to describe the past year

trying... full... different...
reflective... bumpy... humbling... pioneering...
encouraging... emotional... empowering.

10 of my favorite posts

Target Dollar Store Sparkler

Growing Pains

Menu Monday...an ode to our best friend

Easter Bunnies

Schools Out for Summer

From the mouths of babes...

Gym-tastic

Petting Zoo Pals

Menu Monday...A Twilight Dinner Party

Ree and Me...a recipe for fun!

something i learned this year in 10 words

"When you walk through fire, you will not be burned"

taken from this passage in Isaiah 43:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;"

10 individuals/blogs who inspired me in different ways this year

(spiritually, stylishly, as a mom, culinary ideas, creatively, gave me a laugh, and helped me keep a positive attitude):

Sugar Pie Farmhouse

BooMama

320 Sycamore

(In)Courage

Real Mom Kitchen

Beneath My Heart

The Good Life for Less

Confessions of a Pioneer Woman

Smitten Kitchen

Simple Mom

10 words i'm hoping to exemplify in 2010

positive

decisive

active

faithful

creative

gracious

focused

smart

dependable

patient

THOUGHTS TO KEEP IN MIND

-The most useless thing to do…. ……..Worry
-The greatest Joy…………… ……Giving
-The greatest loss…………….Loss of self-respect
-The most satisfying work………Helping others
-The ugliest personality trait…………Selfishness
-The most endangered species………Dedicated leaders
-Our greatest natural resource……………Our youth
-The greatest “shot in the arm”……….Encouragement
-The greatest problem to overcome…………….Fear
-Most effective sleeping pill…. ….Peace of mind
-The most crippling failure disease…….Excuses
-The most powerful force in life………………Love
-The most dangerous pariah………………A gossiper
-The world’s most incredible computer… …..The brain!
-The worst thing to be without………………. Hope
-The deadliest weapon…………………..The tongue
-The two most power-filled words……………”I Can”
-The greatest asset………..Faith
-The most worthless emotion…..Self-pity
-The most prized possession…………….Integrity
-The most beautiful attire………………….SMILE!
-The most powerful channel of communication…. …Prayer
-The most contagious spirit…………. ….Enthusiasm

Shining in spite of the scars

I read an incredible article the other day about this soldier.

Spc. Logan Burnette

He was sitting in the back row of 30 seats on Nov. 5, waiting to see a doctor for a final review. Hurry up and wait. Just another day in the Army.

Out of nowhere he overheard {who we now know was} Major Nidal Hasan shout

"Allahu Akbar"

before he began firing on a building of unarmed soldiers and civilians.

In an attempt to thwart Hasan, Spc. Burnette stood up and threw a folding table at the shooter. In response, Hasan aimed at him and a bullet tore through his left hip,

his abdomen and upper and lower intestines.

Burnette took another bullet to his right hip. Which is still there to this day.

The article stated that Burnette didn't know if or where he was shot and tried to stand up.

More bullets came and he got hit in the left elbow, knuckle and pinky finger.

Burnette fell again and crawled to a nearby cubicle.

He continued to drag himself across the floor and finally made it to the front door

and low-crawled five meters up a hill to another building.

Burnette made it to the front door, and a staff sergeant – he wishes he could remember his name – grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into an office.

The staff sergeant locked the door and performed first aid.

Burnette could still hear gunshots exploding in the nearby building.

There were a lot of heroes that day, Burnette said after tearfully recounting

his experience to the Killeen Daily Herald.

"By no means did my actions take precedence over anyone else's", he said.

He even added matter-of-factly:

"There are a lot of heroes still in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Here's what really struck me about this incredible story...

When asked what his goals were, Spc. Logan Burnette replied,

"Recover and return to duty as soon as possible."

I am so struck by the profound sense of loyalty and duty

our men & women in uniform show each and every day

of their lives.

Let's remember to smile at them.

Let's remember to thank them.

Let's remember to find ways to honor them as the holiday season approaches.

And most importantly, let's remember to pray for them and their families.

This event was a violent reminder that none of us

gets to choose how we die in this world,

but we do get to choose how we live.

Words of Wisdom, on Wednesday

Reading through the book of Proverbs this month and this one stood out to me today. Luckily it fit right into a photo I snapped in our yard too!

So much wisdom to be gleamed from Solomon, I am loving my quiet times...

Playgroup Pals

Every Monday summer, spring, fall and even winter we meet up with our playgroup pals from church! Sometimes we meet up at a special destination: zoo, museum, chick-fil-a, mickey d's, someone's home and sometimes we just take over the gym at our church. But no matter where we meet, we always manage to have SO MUCH FUN!!!

Meeting with this group on a weekly basis for such a long time now has been a real blessing to each of us. We've made new friendships as well as strengthened old ones. The kids forge special bonds with each other and it's neat just to simply watch them "play" together! The Moms get to swap stories, strategies, strengths and sorrows and just be there for each other in general. I think one of the best things any stay at home mother can do is find a group/community to be a part of, for yourself as well as your kids.

They say "it takes a village" and I couldn't have picked a better group of Moms and kids to plow through life with....thanks Lord for placing me where YOU want me to be.

From the mouths of babes...

Cade's prayers last night...

Dear Lord,

Thank you that I got to go to church tonight,



Thanks for all my "fwiends,"



I'm happy that the 2 guys (Paul and Silas) "go'ed"out of jail,



Help us to be good God,



In Jesus name I pray,


Amen

There is absolutely nothing sweeter to this momma's ears than hearing my child talk to God

Lip Service

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight" - Phyllis Diller

Harper is Headed Home...an update

I know many of you read my post about sweet Harper, Kelly and Scott Stamp's daughter who came into this world fighting to stay! She was care flighted from Arkansas to Oklahoma the very day of her birth with grim predictions on surviving through the night.

But wait till you see her now,

she is weaned off all her oxygen, no feeding tube and all monitors have been removed!

Praise God for such miracles! Thank you to those of you who prayed for this precious family! They have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of faithfulness and love over these past 20 days! Join me once more in lifting them up as journey home this day! I can only imagine the great plans God has in store for this special little girl. If you'd like to see more pictures and read the full update on Kelly's blog, just click HERE.

"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning."

Great is thy Faithfulness...

Please join me in praying for my blog friend Kelly Stamps, her husband Scott and their newborn daughter Harper. After struggling with infertility for several years, Kelly became pregnant on her own and has been anxiously awaiting the birth of their daughter.


Harper Brown Stamps was born yesterday at 7:03 PM weighing 9 lbs. and 12 oz, however she was rushed to the NICU for heart and respiratory problems shortly after birth. The prognosis was very grim last night as the doctor did not give them much hope due to the fact that Harper's heart and lungs were filled with fluid. Harper was flown to St. Francis Children's Hospital in Tulsa Oklahoma shortly after midnight last night/early this morning and since then has made significant improvements! Her sweet family continues to give God all the glory for this quick turn of events...so if you feel the spirit move you, please lift up their names to the Lord's ear this evening! He is faithful, I believe God's will will never move us outside of His grace...



If you'd like to read more about Kelly, Scott and baby Harper you can click HERE to visit her blog!

The Apples of My Eye

Mark 10:15-16: Jesus speaking to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

Lord, please give me the wisdom and strength today to bless my children as they have blessed me...because to the world I may be but one person, but to one person I may be the world.

Pictures courtesy of photofunia

Love you Good Night, Sleep Tight

Bedtime is one of our favorite times with the kids! The day is winding down, it's dark outside, the dishes are clean, playroom is picked up, everybody is bathed, and even our rambunctious Cade is ready for a little snuggle.

Our bedtime routine consists of: jammies, brushing teeth/kids mouthwash, going to the potty once more, 2 stories, then we say a prayer from our prayer chart from church (basically covering one of the fruits of the spirit), Cade says his prayers and then we all sing a "Jesus"song together! It seems kinda long, but I really love these last few moments of awake time with our kiddos. It's like the calm at the end of a storm sometimes and other days it's like riding a train all day long and then arriving at your destination...I think all the Mommies out there will understand what I mean.

A typical prayer for Cader:

"dear God,

thank your for my mommy and daddy

and thank you for my sister gracie,

thank you for my doggies, bentley and sammy,

thank you for my letters: C-A-D-E....Cade (wooden letters hanging on his wall)

thank you for my aggie football man,

thank you for my basketball hoop and ball,

thank you for my 'fwriends'

and thanks for my 'twain' bed.

in Jesus name,

Amen"

He always reminds us not to take the little things in life for granted...thanks Little Man!!!

I snapped this shot the other night of story time with Dad.

So tell me, what do your bedtime routines consist of?

Cardboard Testimonies

I saw this clip on a friend's blog and couldn't resist posting it on mine as well. What a powerful message these little cardboard signs hold...I was very teary by the end of it!

What would your card say? What would mine? (now that I think about it...mine would say plenty...trust me) Have we brought these things before God and asked for his loving forgiveness or tried to sweep them under a rug and pretend like they never happened or don't continue to go on?

A christian author I read said that "as with anything human, church always mingles the glorious with the flawed." Not one single person is perfect, not one single person has it all together or knows all the answers and that's where my sweet, sweet Jesus comes in!!! We are all flawed in some way, shape, or form, we live in a fallen world...but through the glory of Christ we can live abundantly, serve faithfully, and trust immeasureably more through the blood of our risen Lord. Thank you Lord, oh how I love you so. Take me, mold me, USE me...let me never forget where I've been or where I'm headed Lord.

What I've been reminded to do today?

Take it to the cross, don't wait one second more. I believe that God's wounded often make His strongest soldiers. Thanks Rebekah for originally posting this clip, I needed the reminder.