Sunday, August 29, 2010

Plan B

 Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads in life?

At a place where you are standing looking at two roads...
one road was the life you thought you were going to lead
and the other is the life you have found yourself in?

I am at that place.

We all have a picture of the way we want our life to be
and then we have reality
And when those two don't match up we feel tremendous
amounts of pain, guilt, frustration, and even anger.  
We all have dreams that don't come to fruition. 
Some are because of our poor choices, some are because of other's decisions, some are a combination of both of those, and sometimes I think there is absolutely no one to blame,
the only one to blame is God.
And gosh darn it, when you hit those moments doesn't it always seem like everyone else's dream is happening except yours. 
I swear it's like;
Everyone else's cancer is being cured.
Everyone else is able to have a baby of their own.
Everyone else's marriage is happy.
Everyone else is being offered a job.
Everyone else is receiving a clean bill of health.

So what do we do with these shattered dreams...
what do we do with our unmet expectations...
What do I do when I'm standing there staring, as my plan A
becomes a distant shadow on the ground...

Man, I think that is such a tough question.
And let me say that I don't believe there is just one simple Bible verse that gives you the answer.
(Believe me I've looked)

It's taken me a long time.

And it hasn't been easy.

In fact, I don't like it much.

But like I said in a previous post,
I have come to the place where I realize that
I do not control outcomes. 
And when my life seems like it's spinning out of control
it's just a reminder that I'm not in control.
The solution for me personally has been a long, tiresome journey...
Full of tears, heartache, sadness, hurt, disappointment, confusion, frustration and about every other emotion in the book...but all of those thoughts and feelings have landed me in the place where I can finally say,
Lord, this is not my dream. 
This is not the way I'd write the script,
this is not what I expected,
but it's not about me,
it's about you God. 
It really stinks and I don't like it, but I'm gonna trust you, walk through this pain and confusion and process it, deal with it, but
I'm not going to let it control me.
Because if I've learned anything it's that if I wrap my faith around my dreams, then when my dreams shrivel up so will my faith.

So everyday we have a decision:
- to make a choice based on our "interpretation" of our circumstances
- to make a choice based on God's promises, that
He is who He says He is

I chose the latter and I can honestly say,
my soul has been more
peaceful and joyful
ever since.

I see God working and moving in my life in new ways.
Yes..I promise to share some of them soon :)

I took the step.
Started down a new path.
A foreign road very unfamiliar to me.
One that I don't have a road map for,
but you know what...
I'm at peace with that
because I trust the Man whose footprints I am following.

This will be my final posting
at this blog site.

As we embark on this plan b,
my wonderfully talented friend Kristi
has custom designed a completely new
blog site for me.

You are welcome to join us on the journey!
Leave a comment or email me for specifics...
Thank you to so, so many for your genuine love, endless support and  continued prayers on our behalf.
My cup runneth over!!!

Signing off for the final time from
Casita de Alaniz.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Reality Check


Where to begin?

This week has been really sobering for me.

After Monday, I will no longer be the Mom
with a kid in preschool and a baby...

I'll be the Mom with a kindergartner and a

It seems like only yesterday I was swaddling each of them to take their naps or watching them sleep while we sat in the rocking chair.

Those are precious fleeting moments, I will store up in
my heart for the rest of my life.

My kids have grown up so quickly in the grand scheme of things!
Too quickly...

Every moment I have spent at home with them over the past 5 years has been such a blessing.  One that I don't take for granted now that I am about to return to the work place.  Everyday I stayed home was a chance for me to love, nurture, care for, play with, teach, and listen to with the ears, eyes, and hands of a mother.  Molding and making memories, that's what we did together.  Molded each other into the person we needed them to be. 

Cade is my first born. 
He MADE me a mother and taught me how to be one. 
Gracyn came along and molded me into the mother of a precious girl.  My heart will never be the same because it sees the world differently.  And the world is different because of them
and so am I.

In all of the best ways imaginable

So I will cherish each and every day


I know the memories will be with me always,

but my little boy and little girl won't. 


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tuesday TRUEism

It is important to live each day with a positive perspective.
It is not wise to pretend that problems do not exist,
but it is wise to look beyond
the problem to the possibilities that are in it.
When Goliath came against the Israelites,
the soldiers all thought,
"He is so big, we can never kill him."
But David looked at the same giant and thought,
"He's so big I can't miss him."

~ Dr. Dale E. Turner ~

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Happy Birthday to YOU, Sweet Libby Lou

Cade and I made a quick trip over to Frisco
this afternoon to help celebrate the big
for Miss Regan Elizabeth!
The party was held at a super, huge gymnastics center! 
The kids got to rotate around the gym
in small groups
enabling them to try out all the equipment. 
After they got good and tired out, we
headed to the party room for
a rainbow themed soiree.

Ginny baked layered rainbow cupcakes and the each
child got to decorate their own cupcake!

It was a BIG hit with everyone :)

What a fun party...

When we drove away Cade asked,
"Mommy can we drive back to Frisco tomorrow?"

That's the sure sign of a good party in my book!

Thanks Ginny
Happiest Birthday Wishes

to you

Sweet Libby Lou

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday TRUEism

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself and doesn’t even feel the
least bit weird shutting your ‘Fridge door' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend’s shoulder has been soggy from your tears.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

So, which kind of friend are you?

Answering that question will likely tell you
what type of friends you have...

Monday, August 9, 2010

The poison of SHOULDS

Have you ever thought about how dangerous
thinking and using the word
can be?

I found out some information that really
bothered me and that I
did some serious thinking about it.

Over and over I found myself stuck on the word should...
so and so should know better.
so and so shouldn't have said that.
 so and so should say it to my face.

It's something I've struggled with for most of my life I guess. 

People "should" behave this way,
marriages "should" be like this,
friends "should" respond this way,
life "should" look like this...
but guess what...
life doesn't work that way.

The truth is we all have expectations in our lives that affect the way we live, the way we view others,
and the way we respond to life.  
 Want to know what some of mine were?

1.  People should always make good choices
2.  People should tell the truth, always
3.  Moms should make dinner for their families
4.  Husbands should want to come home to their wives
5.  Friends should be honest with you, even when it's tough
6.  I should give 100% to everything I do
7.  I should stay positive, no matter what

You know what? 
These shoulds can ruin lives. 
They can ruin friendships.  They can ruin your self worth.
These shoulds can poison your attitude and bog you down into trying to figure out other people's motives and motivations.
These shoulds can make us expect things that are unrealistic.
And they allow us to be disappointed when things don't turn out the way they
They steal our joy.

I really struggled thinking about this.

Finally, in the wee hours of the Saturday morning
{think like 2 a.m.}
I finally came to the conclusion that
I have to release the need to determine
how things should be...

:: I release it ::

:: I let it go ::

:: Go ::

:: Fly away ::

:: Get away from me ::

:: Get out of my thoughts ::

:: Stop stealing my joy ::

I think that my expectations were just a form of control,
born of my need to know what the outcomes would be. 
And the more I am able to release that need,
the more I am able to accept life for what it truly is...
a series of ups and downs, triumphs and trials, happy moments 
and heartaches.

I encourage you, think about what your shoulds are. 
Shoulds with yourself.  Shoulds with your friends. 
Shoulds with your kids.  Shoulds in your marriage.

If you want to share some of them please do so, via comments. Who knows, they may be enlightening to someone else. 

Friday, August 6, 2010

Fun Fridays...My Favorite Things

Going to the

My Top Five Favorite Things About
Our Lake Weekends...

1.  Seeing the night sky {amazing outside of the city}
2.  Laughing at old stories
3.  Eating all together @ one big table
4.  Joy riding around the lake in the boat
5.  Watching the kids play, swim, and scheme together

:: Happy Friday ::