The poison of SHOULDS

Have you ever thought about how dangerous

thinking and using the word

should

can be?

I found out some information that really

bothered me and that I

did some serious thinking about it.

Over and over I found myself stuck on the word should...

so and so should know better.

so and so shouldn't have said that.

 so and so should say it to my face.

It's something I've struggled with for most of my life I guess. 

People "should" behave this way,
marriages "should" be like this,

friends "should" respond this way,
life "should" look like this...

but guess what...
life doesn't work that way.

The truth is we all have expectations in our lives that affect the way we live, the way we view others,

and the way we respond to life.  

 Want to know what some of mine were?

1.  People should always make good choices

2.  People should tell the truth, always

3.  Moms should make dinner for their families

4.  Husbands should want to come home to their wives

5.  Friends should be honest with you, even when it's tough

6.  I should give 100% to everything I do

7.  I should stay positive, no matter what

You know what? 

These shoulds can ruin lives. 

They can ruin friendships.  They can ruin your self worth.

These shoulds can poison your attitude and bog you down into trying to figure out other people's motives and motivations.

These shoulds can make us expect things that are unrealistic.

And they allow us to be disappointed when things don't turn out the way they

"should." 

They steal our joy.

I really struggled thinking about this.

 

Finally, in the wee hours of the Saturday morning

{think like 2 a.m.}

I finally came to the conclusion that

I have to release the need to determine

how things should be...

:: I release it ::

:: I let it go ::

:: Go ::

:: Fly away ::

:: Get away from me ::

:: Get out of my thoughts ::

:: Stop stealing my joy ::

I think that my expectations were just a form of control,

born of my need to know what the outcomes would be. 

And the more I am able to release that need,

the more I am able to accept life for what it truly is...

a series of ups and downs, triumphs and trials, happy moments 
and heartaches.

I encourage you, think about what your shoulds are. 

Shoulds with yourself.  Shoulds with your friends. 

Shoulds with your kids.  Shoulds in your marriage.

If you want to share some of them please do so, via comments. Who knows, they may be enlightening to someone else. 

Way Back Wednesday

Me @ 19 months.

Get your vote in, by writing me a comment!

Who do you think favors me more...

Cade or Gracyn?

You can click on the photos to enlarge them!!!

10 to Kick-Off 2010!!!

10 words to describe the past year

trying... full... different...
reflective... bumpy... humbling... pioneering...
encouraging... emotional... empowering.

10 of my favorite posts

Target Dollar Store Sparkler

Growing Pains

Menu Monday...an ode to our best friend

Easter Bunnies

Schools Out for Summer

From the mouths of babes...

Gym-tastic

Petting Zoo Pals

Menu Monday...A Twilight Dinner Party

Ree and Me...a recipe for fun!

something i learned this year in 10 words

"When you walk through fire, you will not be burned"

taken from this passage in Isaiah 43:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;"

10 individuals/blogs who inspired me in different ways this year

(spiritually, stylishly, as a mom, culinary ideas, creatively, gave me a laugh, and helped me keep a positive attitude):

Sugar Pie Farmhouse

BooMama

320 Sycamore

(In)Courage

Real Mom Kitchen

Beneath My Heart

The Good Life for Less

Confessions of a Pioneer Woman

Smitten Kitchen

Simple Mom

10 words i'm hoping to exemplify in 2010

positive

decisive

active

faithful

creative

gracious

focused

smart

dependable

patient

Wordless Wednesday

The views from the cheap seats...

Three down...one to go

Eclipse is officially checked off my reading list and Breaking Dawn awaits me (i hope and pray) on some shelf at Wally World manana!

Do I really want these to end?

Bitten

I am hooked.

Hooked I tell you.

This is not the usual genre of books that I read, but I absolutely, hands down am intrigued by the story line, characters, and plot within this novel.

I read it in 3 days, which IS fast, but doesn't even compare to my sister-in-law who finished the book in 2 days...right Cindy?

It has almost 500 pages kids!!!

I am antsy to start the next book in the series, but Barnes and Noble was sold out of the paperback edition and I am too cheap to buy the hardback so I'm off to Wally World tomorrow with my fingers crossed that they'll have The New Moon waiting for me on one of their shelves.

Feeling the need to fall into an interesting story filled with twists & turns, beautiful allusions, captivating characters and a little romance?

Pick this one up...

Maybe you'll even beat my 3 day record!

Menu Monday...an ode to our best friend

What's on our menu when Mommy doesn't feel like cooking or we've eaten sandwiches for 4 days straight or the dog (whose name shall remain anonymous to protect the privacy of the accused) jumps up on the table and gobbles up the sandwiches I just made using up the last slices of wheat bread in the house, while we were changing Gracyn's diaper in her room ?

Our favorite place...

CHICK-FIL-A

To commemorate this delicious, satisfying, and always CHOCKED full of screaming kids...mine included...restaurant, please enjoy this little ditty. It sums up our feelings perfectly!

Love you Chick-fil-a.

Q: Am I still alive? A: YES!!!!!!

Dear Blog,

Please forgive me for neglecting you these past few weeks. It seems that I have just not had the time to visit with you lately. While you are a priority to me, my husband, kids, friends, and home will always come first. These are nearest and dearest to my heart :)

Now that things are more settled on the home front, I look forward to visiting with you, recording memories, and posting photographs once again! Thanks for remaining faithful and understanding!

Sincerely,
Your Favorite Livin' La Vida Loca Mammasita

No Memory (literally & figuratively) and a story

During our last trip to Dallas, I left my camera at my parent's home! I had so many cute Valentine pictures to post, stories to tell, memories to record, but alas they are all stuck in the "BIG D" on my Canon Rebel's memory card.


Darn it.


So I will leave you with a story...that I did have a photo to go with...but you'll just have to settle for the story folks.


My Dad, Cade and I are driving back to Nani and Papa's house one evening after he spent the afternoon with Aunt Manda and Uncle Cody!


Cade- Mommy, look at that!



Me- Look at what?



Cade- Up there, in the sky.



Me- (spotting airplane lights moving across the sky) Oh the lights?



Cade- Yeah Mommy, it's Jesus.



Me- You think?



Cade- Yes, he's headed to bed in the clouds.



Me- Why is he flashing?



Cade- So the birds won't run into him.

Gotta love the ingenuity of a 4 year old.

I really miss updating the blog! Badly...

Hopefully, I'll be back in business soon! You'll have to bear with me...no pics and all :)

Target Dollar Spot Sparkler

I happened to find myself in Target, yet again, last week! I initially went in looking for a new hairdryer because the old one decided to retaliate by spitting fire when we tried using it! I wish I was kidding. I saw the FLAMES blazing in my mirror with my own 2 peepers...YIKES!

Seeing as that is a serious FIRE HAZARD I chunked him in the trash on the spot.

Back to my story, I run in let Cade pick out a basket, strap Gracyn in the front and we're off. Okay, here's where the catch comes in...am I the only person who absolutely CANNOT and I mean can NOT pass by the Dollar Spot without looking to see what treasures it holds this month? Please give me a shout out and let me know I'm not suffering from "Dollar Spot-itis!"

Back to the story take II, the 3 of us are perusing the bins when I spot this little cutie!

A miniature mailbox...for a DOLLAR!

Of course I pick one right up and toss into the basket, not knowing exactly WHAT I'm going to do with it, but figuring I'll come up with something...because it's a bargain at a dollar, right?!?? We continue on around find a new hair dryer too and end up eating lunch there because Cade insists they have the best crust less PB&J sandwiches around. This coming from a fella who seriously knows his stuff. The kid is addicted to PB&J sandwiches and he says they're the best, so they are the best! Are you beginning to see why we love Target so much?

I sat my mailbox on my kitchen counter at home to hopefully be inspired with an idea. While checking the blogs I follow this past weekend and saw a girl who decoupaged her Target mailbox. Luckily she linked back to the post she got the idea from and what do you know...I found a decorating step-by-step tutorial and a new blog to follow in the process! Amanda at Imperfectly Beautiful gives the play by play specifically for these mailboxes, I mean even down to the paper lengths to cut! Easy-Peasy.

So my simple little dollar spot mailbox now looks like this...

A perfect gift for a teacher, friend, co-worker, daycare provider, church bible class teacher, nursery worker, or yourself! Ours will be sent to preschool on Friday for Cade's teacher! We filled ours with Hershey kisses and hugs, what an inexpensive way to say "we LOVE what you do!"

*Update-I went back to Target to buy more, but the secret is OUT...they were totally gone! Hurry girls...hope you'll have more luck at your Tarjay!!!

This weekend we celebrated our SEVEN year anniversary! Lucky #7. Looking back it doesn't seem like we've been married for seven years...it seems like more, but not in a bad way, because HOW could we possibly have squeezed all that fun into just 7 years? Let's just get down to the nitty gritty here. We dated for 5 years before we married so we've been a BIG part of one another's lives for a whopping total of 12 years! When you put it like that, its kinda amazing...and to be quite frank there is not one single person who I'd rather have spent more of my time with than Steve.

So here's some things about us in 7's:

Seven places we've travelled:

1- Napa Valley

2- Cancun

3- Oahu, Maui & Kauai

4- Germany

5- France

6- Ixtapa

7- Italy

Seven T.V. Shows we both like:

1- C.S.I. Las Vegas


2- Without a Trace


3- Cold Case


4- Dancing with the Stars


5- Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives on Food Network


6- Everybody Loves Raymond


7- Seinfeld




Seven things we've accomplished as a couple:

1- Backpacked overseas together for 1 month & came home STILL on speaking terms

2- Biked Mt. Haleakala, 22 miles

3- Hiked to the top of Diamond Head, Oahu

4- Had our sweet Cade

5- Walked the beaches of Normandy

6- Purchased 2 homes together

7- Had our sweet Gracyn

Seven things we like to do in our spare time:

1- House Projects

2- Bake together

3- Go to the movies

4- Shop

5- Nap :)

6- Wait a minute...we have spare time???

7- Watch Throwdown with Bobby Flay

Seven Ways God has blessed us:

1- Awesome Families

2- Amazing Friends

3- Jobs we like

4- Healthy and Happy Kids

5- A safe 4 year Army tenure

6- A church that feels like a home

7- Finding each other

Seven of my favorite things about Steve:

#1 I love the way he seeks to know more about Christ and the Bible and challenges me to do the same

#2 I love how optimistic he is, Steve always, always, always sees the good in everyone and in every situation

#3 I love the way he does voice impressions that make me laugh till I cry...seriously hysterical!

#4 I love the way he gets excited when I think of yet another home project for him to work on

#5 I love the way he lets me do all the planning for our trips AND make out an itinerary :)

#6 I love how he always asks me where I want to go eat instead of picking himself, he is so good at putting me first

#7 I love how he provides and works so hard for his family & how he can rough house with Cade and yet be so tender with Gracyn...there are so many more things that I could list here about the man I love but suffice it to say that he is still, after 12 years my favorite person to be with and my best friend. My favorite part of the day is when I hear that garage door at 5:30 pm and then hear my son say "Mommy, Daddy's home!"

This year he planned an awesome night out for us at a restaurant called Cheeves. My sister and her fiance were down this weekend for a wedding that he was participating in and volunteered to watch the kiddos for us so we were footloose and fancy free for the night! WOO-HOO Thanks Manda & Cody!! When they seated us guess what was waiting for me at our table? A HUGE bouquet of roses that he had sent to the restaurant! Yes, at that moment I think every guy in the restaurant hated him and every girl wanted those beautiful roses at her table...it was so very sweet. We feasted on a cajun crawfish appetizer, lobster bisque & french onion soup, steaks and creamed spinach. We were so stuffed that we ordered their cheesecake romanoff to go! It was fun to sit down and rehash the evening with Amanda and Cody over that delicious dessert. Thanks for a wonderful evening baby and I am looking forward to 7 X 7 more years together! I can't imagine what the good Lord has in store for us in the future, but I can't wait to continue the journey with you by my side!

Enjoying Texas Land & Cattle, March 1999

Nine Years Later at Cheeves, June 2008