Plan B

 Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads in life?

At a place where you are standing looking at two roads...

one road was the life you thought you were going to lead

and the other is the life you have found yourself in?

I am at that place.

We all have a picture of the way we want our life to be

and then we have reality! 

And when those two don't match up we feel tremendous

amounts of pain, guilt, frustration, and even anger.  

We all have dreams that don't come to fruition. 

Some are because of our poor choices, some are because of other's decisions, some are a combination of both of those, and sometimes I think there is absolutely no one to blame,

the only one to blame is God.

And gosh darn it, when you hit those moments doesn't it always seem like everyone else's dream is happening except yours. 

I swear it's like;

Everyone else's cancer is being cured.

Everyone else is able to have a baby of their own.

Everyone else's marriage is happy.

Everyone else is being offered a job.

Everyone else is receiving a clean bill of health.

So what do we do with these shattered dreams...

what do we do with our unmet expectations...

What do I do when I'm standing there staring, as my plan A

becomes a distant shadow on the ground...

Man, I think that is such a tough question.

And let me say that I don't believe there is just one simple Bible verse that gives you the answer.

(Believe me I've looked)

It's taken me a long time.

And it hasn't been easy.

In fact, I don't like it much.

But like I said in a previous post,

I have come to the place where I realize that

I do not control outcomes. 

And when my life seems like it's spinning out of control

it's just a reminder that I'm not in control.

The solution for me personally has been a long, tiresome journey...

Full of tears, heartache, sadness, hurt, disappointment, confusion, frustration and about every other emotion in the book...but all of those thoughts and feelings have landed me in the place where I can finally say,

Lord, this is not my dream. 

This is not the way I'd write the script,

this is not what I expected,

but it's not about me,

it's about you God. 

It really stinks and I don't like it, but I'm gonna trust you, walk through this pain and confusion and process it, deal with it, but

I'm not going to let it control me.

Because if I've learned anything it's that if I wrap my faith around my dreams, then when my dreams shrivel up so will my faith.

So everyday we have a decision:

- to make a choice based on our "interpretation" of our circumstances

-OR-

- to make a choice based on God's promises, that

He is who He says He is

I chose the latter and I can honestly say,

my soul has been more

peaceful and joyful

ever since.

I see God working and moving in my life in new ways.

Yes..I promise to share some of them soon :)

I took the step.

Started down a new path.

A foreign road very unfamiliar to me.

One that I don't have a road map for,

but you know what...

I'm at peace with that

because I trust the Man whose footprints I am following.

This will be my final posting

at this blog site.

As we embark on this plan b,

my wonderfully talented friend Kristi

has custom designed a completely new

blog site for me.

You are welcome to join us on the journey!

Leave a comment or email me for specifics...

Thank you to so, so many for your genuine love, endless support and  continued prayers on our behalf.

My cup runneth over!!!

Signing off for the final time from
Casita de Alaniz.